


Dust Galaxies & Paper Cranes

by damnitcas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Artist cas, High School AU, Highschool AU, M/M, cheearleader dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-10-16
Packaged: 2018-02-14 15:17:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2196714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damnitcas/pseuds/damnitcas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is an art student trying to get through his senior year of highschool by keeping his head down and hopes high while struggling to apply to college. Dean is captain of the cheer squad; popular, to say the least. No one would ever think that these two would ever be seen together, but, late one night while cas is distracted by music and the dark sky, and dean is distracted by music and the dark street, cas walks into that same street only to have dean accidentally run over him with his car. i guess you could say that cas looked.. /smashing./</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work in progress, i may end up changing a few things.

_italics = cas thinking to himself._

 

**Tuesday September 23rd 9:17pm.**

Castiel pushed open the school door into the dark, icy evening.

 _Fuck._ Castiel thought to himself as he stood there in the dark.

He pulled his phone out of the sweatshirt pocket of his hand-me-down-3-sizes-too-big paint stained Pink Floyd hoodie. The sleeves covered his hands and it was way too long for him but he didn't care. It made him feel safe. He checked the time.

_9 o'clock? What was the point of staying late at school if i didn't even finish my project?_

Castiel sighed looking up at the dark sky and lost himself in the shapes and patterns of the stars. A dull aching pain crept through his stomach. He didn't want to go home.

He pulled his hood up over his black and blue hair as he started toward the deserted parking lot.

_Just hang in there castiel, one more year then off to art school. You’ll finally be away from all these unintelligent, ignorant jocks and idiotic-_

He didn't know how it happened but within a split second he was on the ground. Toxic swirls of color faded through his vision and the threatening feeling of vomiting occupied his stomach.

Cas idly heard the sound of a car door slam and then a pair of hands were on his shoulders. "I'm so sorry holy fucking shit are you okay? Buddy, hey, stay with me now. I was driving a-and i didn't see you, shitshit _shit_ you were wearing all black and I didn't have my lights on and oh my god. I swear I didn’t see you, FUCK." The voice was deep and panic stricken. Castiel tried to say something to calm the guy down but the words got stuck in this throat.

Castiel squinted his eyes, a green blur got added to the swirling colors in his head. The guy snapped his fingers in Castiel's face. "Stay with me okay? Hi, yes I-I need an ambulance to Green Hill High school as fast as you can. My name is Dean Winchester.." The rest of the conversation got hazy to castiel, but as black spots crept over his eyes, one thing stayed clear in his mind.

_Dean Winchester_

 

~

 

**Wednesday September 24th 2:54pm**

When Castiel woke up he didn't know where he was. A panic whelmed inside him. He started gasping for air and his throat became tight. He thrashed his arms, pulling at the IV’s in his arms. Loud beeps blazed, a nurse rushed into Castiel's room and tried to restrain him.

"Castiel, its okay! You're at the New Haven Local hospital. You were hit by a car last night in your high school parking lot and you were brought here. Everything is okay."  
After repeating what the nurse had said seven times over in his head, Castiel’s breathing slowed and he calmed down a bit. He stayed quiet, nodded and laid back against the stiff hospital bed.

The nurse smiled. "My name is Nurse Katie. And the good news is it was only a small concision you'll be able to leave today." she warmly smiled. Castiel struggled a half grin. "The bad news is it looks like you got a stalker on your hands." Katie laughed but seeing Castiel's confusion she elaborated. "Nah i'm just kidding, the guy who hit you with his car? He's been sitting out in the waiting room all night. We told him he could leave and that you would be okay but he insisted he stay." Something fluttered in Castiel's stomach and he was suddenly nervous to leave.

 

~

 

With his sweatshirt pulled far over his hands castiel started for the exit. He scanned the people in the waiting room as he passed. Not that he had any intent to stop and talk, he was just curious to who had hit him with their car. 

Without any warning the room started spinning, up was right and left was sideways. He couldn't quite remember how to use his legs. Before he shut his eyes he saw the floor getting closer and he braced himself for the impact of the hard tile. “Woah there.” a familiar voice murmured.

“You’re not the floor.” Castiel mumbled under his breath. He was completely baffled and entirely puzzled as to how he ended up in the arms of this stranger but his head hurt to much to care.

Dean laughed quietly. “No i can assure you i’m not the floor.” He carefully lowered Castiel down against the wall to the ground. Castiel put his head between his legs. “Are you okay?”

“I will be, hang on.” After a few seconds of castiel catching his breath, he directed his gaze at Dean.

"Castiel i'm really sorry.. about last night.. are you sure you’re okay? I seriously didn't mean to hit you with my car.." He trailed off as he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck.

Castiel shrugged and continued to study him.

Dean let out a little nervous laugh that tangled Castiel's stomach in knots. "Im Dean by the way." He reached out his hand. "Dean Winchester" Castiel quickly flailed his arm to get his hand out of his sleeve - Dean laughed again - and he shook deans hand. Warm.

"I’m Castiel Novak, but i guess you already knew that." Castiel managed.

"Yeah I found your Student ID in your wallet and gave it to the doctor. I’m pretty sure they tried to call your parents but i don't think they got ahold of them.." Dean looked down from Castiel's suddenly sad deep blue gaze.

"Yeah.. They're.. Preoccupied at the moment."

"Like out of town or something?" Dean suggested.

"Yeah you could say that."

"I see. Do you uh, need a ride home then? It’s the least I could do."

Castiel shrugged again but dean took that as a yes and his mouth widened into a gorgeous smile.

"Great!" he jumped up and held his hand down to help castiel up.

 

~

 

Dean had to half-yell over the roar of the cold wind and the loud rock music for Castiel to be able to hear him. "So Cas, mind if I call you Cas?” Dean looked from the road to the passenger side, and Cas shrugged. “Why were you at the school so late last night? I could have sworn I’m the only who stays that late." The windows were down and despite cas's horrid headache he couldn’t help but notice how the wind danced through dean’s deep blond hair.

Cas was holding onto the side of the leather seat for dear life. It wasn’t that dean was a bad driver it was just that if they were going any faster cas thought they would shoot off into warp speed or something. "I was trying to finish my art project." He yelled back. "Its a painting, but I’m experiencing an artist's block. I can’t seem to figure it out... I don’t know." Cas glanced over at Dean to find him staring back at him.

“So you’re one of those cute artsy types huh.” Dean smiled and nodded to himself as he fixed his gaze back onto the road. “Cool, I can roll with that.”

Cas’s could feel himself blushing but before he had time to comment on it, dean was talking again.

"I myself never really got into that type of thing. I tried but I'm shit at drawing. I bet you five bucks you couldn't guess what I like to do." Dean glanced over at him with a big cheesy smile on his face that made cas's insides turn. It was a genuine smile. The kind that someone can only get when they talk about something they're really passionate about.

Cas had to quickly look away before he started blushing again. He leaned his head against the closed window and squeezed his eyes shut. The cold felt good on his hot skin but the vibrating of the glass made it worse. The sharp pain still buzzed through his head and the loud music and rumbling of the car and the vibrating of the glass wasn't helping. "You're a cheerleader dean. The captain of the team I believe." He'd seen Dean preform at the weekly football games that his friend Charlie dragged him to, or walking around school surrounded by a heard of popular girls and their cloud of judgmental criticism that always seemed to follow wherever they went. Cas didn't really care much for that group. He grinded his teeth and brought his hands up against his temples and rubbed them softly.

"Holy shit wait. Back up. Pause. Rewind. Castiel I'm sorry I totally forgot about your concision." Dean quickly switched off the radio and slowed down to the speed limit, now, self aware of what he was doing. It was almost silent now with the windows up. Cas could almost hear his heart pounding in his chest. He really hoped that dean couldn’t hear it. "Are you okay? Is there anything i can do?" Deans big, green eyes were staring into his, basically whimpering and begging for his acknowledgment.

 _He looks like a lost puppy.. I should say something... I mean.. He DID run over me in his car.. This is only customary for him to apologize. I'm sure he means nothing more than that…_ Cas thought to himself.

"I'm okay, I think I'll just go home and sleep it off.”

They drove in silence until dean pulled into an unfamiliar neighborhood.

"Dean this isn't where I live"

"I know"

"I thought you were bringing me home?"

"Nope"

"..im confused."

"Well I'm not just going to let you sit in your room alone while you're hurt, now am i? _Especially_ since in the one who hurt you."

"I’m eighteen years old dean I think I will be sufficient on my own. Plus I have like this sleeping prob-"

"Bullshit. I don't care what you say. I can’t just leave you like this. I ran over you with my car Cas, I wouldn't feel right just dropping you off."

Cas wasn't in the mood to argue and his head was killing him so he just groaned.

"I’ll take that as an okay." Dean flashed his teeth at cas.

 

~

 

** Wednesday September 24th 4:35pm **

Dean went down the dark basement stairs first so that he could make sure that if Cas fell, he would be there to catch him.

"Dean you know this really isn't necessary I-"

"Don't even start Cas, the doctors said that you have to be woken up every couple of hours to make sure you're still okay."

Cas wasn't sure if he trusted dean yet.

_I am going down into the dark basement of a total stranger who I've never met. For all I know he could be a murderer. I mean, yes he's very kind natured and has adequate manners. But still I am not acquainted with him before this nor have I myself met anyone who knows him._

Dean flipped the lights on and cas was suddenly standing in the middle of a large room. The walls were plastered with pictures of dean and his friends, posters of cars, bands, - Cas noticed a Pink Floyd poster that was the same design as his sweatshirt, so, that was cool. - there was a record player in one corner surrounded by a very substantial collection of vinyls. And in the other corner, Deans bed was a mattress on the floor covered in a big mound of soft looking blankets.

“Mi casa es su casa. Make yourself at home.” Dean turned around to see Cas’s eyes wandering around looking at all his stuff so he quickly added, “Uh, its not much, but its home.” He smiled.

Cas looked up. Little paper cranes were strung from the ceiling, hundreds of them, thousands of them? They were all made in mismatched papers, some from newspapers, colored paper, white, black, green, blue, pages from books, maps, notebook paper, receipts, everything.

“Origami?”

“Yeah.. Paper cranes… Its kinda my thing.. Everyone thinks its stupid” He looked down shyly.

“I think they’re great”

Dean grind madly at this. “Thanks.”

All the different things to take in was giving cas a headache, he stared longingly at the soft bed but he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to lay down. Why did he agree to this? Why didn’t he just get a taxi home? He could be in bed now with the curtains drawn and be in the quiet by himself.

They stood there for a couple minutes of uncomfortable silence, unsure how to proceed.

“Uh, you’ve got the bed. Im warning you though, its the best sleep you’ll ever have. Memory foam, softest bed _ever._ ” Dean started for the stairs to give Cas privacy to sleep.

“Thank you dean, this is very kind of you.”

“No problem Cas, I just.. Ya know.. I don’t want you dying alone in your empty house.” They both forced a little laugh.

Dean backed away slowly swinging his arms awkwardly by his sides.

“I’ll um, be upstairs. If you need anything just yell.”

“okay.”

Dean quickly switched out the lights and hustled up the stairs leaving cas alone.

Cas let out a sigh of relief and fell face first into deans pillows and blankets.

_Burning wood and lavender._

He breathed deans sent in and nuzzled into the blankets.

“What are you doing Castiel.” He mumbled into the pillows. _Seriously, what are you doing? I don't care that he's cute. This is so weird. Who does this. Dean is so… He’s… I don’t know. But you can’t have him okay? Don’t even think about it. I’m one hundred percent sure that hes straight anyway. Why would it even matter? Dean Winchester, cheerleader captain, the guy who i’m pretty sure has slept with almost every girl in the entire school._ He groaned and rolled over. Cas let his mind go blank, trying to think of anything else besides this stupid situation that he was in. After arguing with himself for a little while longer, Castiel eventually fell asleep in the strangers bed. 

 

~

 

Upstairs dean was pacing back and forth, he would pick up random objects, like a book or a vase, and move them to another spot of the house only to pick it back up a second later and put it back to where it began.

He opened and closed the fridge about fifty times.

He sat down.

then stood back up.

walked to the kitchen.

walked back to the living room.

and sat down again.

he crossed his legs.

then uncrossed them.

and stood back up.

Deans couldn’t get his hands to stop shaking.

the jingle of keys in a lock echoed through the hallway followed by footsteps of fourteen year old sam walking in. He heaved his backpack down onto the kitchen table and stopped to stare at dean.

“You’re nervous.” sam squinted his eyes at dean

“Yeah no shit sherlock.” Dean rubbed at the palm of his hand with his thumb.

“Why?” Sam stifled a laugh. It was always funny to see his strong, fearless, older brother who was never scared of anything, to be so affected by the feelings of a normal human being.

“Did you learn anything today at school today?” dean said vaguely in an attempt to change the subject.

“I learned how to pass the weekly standardized tests and get the school more funding.” he said without taking his eyes off dean.

“Smartass. Don’t you have like homework or something you should be doing? huh?” he ruffled sams hair.

“No” sam said pretentiously as if he was offended. “Also why didnt you come home last night? when I went to bed you weren’t home. And you weren't here when I woke up either. I was worried.” He leaned up against the table and kept his innocent, pleading eyes locked on deans.

Dean crumbled under the weight of those eyes. “I’m sorry.. i uh.. i accidentally.. uh.” his eyes fell to the ground not being able to hold sams.

“You what?” Sam said putting his hands on his hips.

“I accidentally.. hit this guy with.. my.. car..” Dean mumbled. “..so i stayed with him at the hospital to make sure that, you know, i didn’t kill him.” He glanced back up at Sam to see how he would react. His eyes were wide but he didn’t actually look surprised. But he was grinning, almost laughing.

“You what!?”

“I didn’t mean to! I had stayed late to practice a routine and then I went out to my car and it was dark and i hadn’t yet put on my headlights and I didn’t know anyone else would be at the school and I looked down to get a tape to play music and then BAM! I ran out to see what happened and he was just laying there on the ground all limpy like a sad little rag doll and oh my god sammy I thought I killed him! I bent down and tried to get him to stay conscious and for him to talk to me but it didn’t really work because I hit him pretty hard. I called an ambulance and they came and took him to the hospital. There was a cop there who asked some questions but then he said that I could go home so I got in my car and yeah, that’s that.” Dean took a deep breath.

“you _what?!?_ ”

“Stop saying that!”

“Okay okay but wait, you said that you stayed at the hospital overnight?”

“Oh right. Yes i was on my way home but then i got really worried because what if he ended up dying? what if i accidentally killed him? I needed to know so I drove to the hospital. They wouldn’t let me in to see him so i just waited.”

“Did you ever get to talk to the guy?”

“Yeah he was released and as he was leaving i saw him and i guess he got lightheaded or something because if I wasn't there to catch him, i’m pretty sure he would've gotten another concussion because he started to fall over. We talked for a minute and then I asked if he needed a ride home.”

“Uh huh, go on.”

Dean tried to hide a blush “He was wearing this really cool Pink Floyd sweatshirt which is cool because you know, I like Pink Floyd too. And he told me that hes an artist. Which is also cool and-”

“What do you have like a crush on him or something?”

“WHAT? Sam no! I don't have a _crush_ on him! I just met the guy a couple hours ago! Sam I hit him with my car! I’m trying to be nice! thats why hes downstairs.” He rushed the last part hoping Sam wouldn't hear him.

“Wait, what? Back up. He’s downstairs? The weird guy you hit with your car? Wow I was joking before but you really _do_ have a crush on him don’t you?”

Heat rushed over deans face and ears, his heart was racing.

“Shut up Sam. I don’t like him like that.”

Sam raised his hands up showing surrender. “Okay whatever just don’t come to me for help on what songs to put on his mixtape.”

“Look,” He suddenly got really serious. “I don’t like him, I’m just being a decent human being and I wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t end up dying all by himself.”

“Dean. It’s just a concussion.”

“Yeah but still.”

Sam shrugged. “Why not?”

“Why not what?”

“Go for it.”

His whole body got tense, his throat got tight and it felt like his lungs weren’t getting enough oxygen. It was like all the air was being sucked out of the room. “Sam.. you know i can’t do that again..”

“Dean, you gotta get yourself back out there, you can’t hide behind your music and those damn paper cranes you keep making.”

Dean didn’t say anything. A toxic mix of anger, regret, and sadness swelled inside him. He wanted to scream, or fall over and just sleep, or punch a wall, or a mix of all three.

Sam saw deans fists clenching and quickly changed the subject. “Whats his name?”

Dean looked perplexed. “What?”

“The dude downstairs. What’s his name?”

“Oh.. It’s Cas.”

“Cas?”

“Well, it’s Castiel, but i call him Cas.”

“Oh we’re already onto nicknames are we?”

“Thats it. You’re making dinner tonight _and_ doing the dishes.” Dean playfully shoved him.

“Jerk.”

“Bitch.”

 

~

 

**Wednesday September 24th 6:47pm**

“Cas” Dean breathed.

It had been two hours since Cas had fallen asleep so dean just wanted to make sure that he was okay. The doctor said to just see if he is able to wake up and hold a conversation for a couple minutes to make sure that he doesn’t need further treatment.

The bed fell beneath deans weight as he sat down next to cas, dean watched as the blankets rose and fell in correlation with cas’s breathing.

He put his hand on cas’s warm shoulder and shook it softly.

“Hey, cas” He murmured softly. He studied every inch of Cas’s face, from the way his dark blue hair was messily falling over his pale skin, to the way his pink lips were opened just a tad. Dean’s eyes wandered to the exposed part of cas’s collarbones that his sweatshirt wasn’t covering.

He bit his lip.

He seriously didn’t mean to, but Dean slowly moved his hand from cas’s shoulder to cas’s flushed cheeks, and pushed some hair from in front of his closed eyes.

“Cas, wake up.”

Suddenly, Cas jerked awake, shot straight up a started thrashing around.

“Where am I?!” He screamed. “Where a-am.. NO STOP-” Cas violently rolled around on deans bed, tangling himself up in the sheets, his eyes squeezed shut.

Dean jumped up and stumbled across the room, he fell into the light switch filling the room with artificial brightness.

“Cas, its okay, you’re okay!” He ran back to cas and firmly gripped cas’s shoulders, falling onto the bed next to him. Cas’s face had turned a clammy whitish, like the color of milk or fresh snow. He showed no response to what dean was saying. His sweatshirt clung to his chest with sweat. Cas’s pupils dilated as intense, fear filled eyes darted around the room looking for the answers that he so desperately craved.

“Cas shhh shhh its okay, you’re going to be okay.” Dean cupped Cas’s hot face in his hands forcing him to look into dean’s eyes. “Look at me, Cas It’s okay! It’s okay” Cas grabbed hold of deans forearms and dug his fingernails into his skin. He stared vacantly into dean’s eyes, but dean could tell that he wasn’t all there, his mind was somewhere else.

Dean grinded his teeth. “Cas-”

Instantaneously, Cas released dean and fell back into the pillows. He gulped for air, a heavy weight pushed down on his chest making it hard for him to breath. Cas's skin burned hot, the rhythm of his heart beating a million miles an hour was vibrant throughout his entire body. All he could hear was blood pumping through his ears.

“Cas?” Dean asked.

He didn’t answer for a couple minutes, but dean was patient.

“I’m s-sorry dean.” His voice cracked and he curled into a ball, bringing his knees to his chest. He couldn’t keep from shaking.

“No, don’t be sorry, it’s okay,” dean decided it was safe to put a hand on his shoulder.

“Night terrors?” dean asked after a while. Cas slowly nodded into the pillows, not showing his face. “Yeah, kinda.”

dean nodded. “Don’t worry. I used to get something like that all the time..” his mind started wandering back to those nights. “...it feels weird to be on the receiving side of it.”

Cas didn’t know what to say to this. He wanted to ask dean how he got over them, but he was too buy trying to get the shaking to stop.

“How often?” dean prompted him.

“I um, just sometimes..” His low voice was barely above a whisper as he talked very slowly “It happens more when I wake up in a place that aren’t familiar.. my father.. he..” Cas trailed off and kept his eyes shut.

“Cas you don’t have to tell me its okay.” He kept his hand reassuringly on Cas’s shoulder.

“Thank you dean.”

“Youre welcome. uh, Sam made dinner. do you want some?”

Cas nodded. “Yeah, give me a minute.”

“Take all the time you need.”

 

~

 

“Sam Cas, Cas Sam.” Dean said as they took their seats at the table set with three plates piled high with spaghetti

“Hi Cas! i’m sam its nice to meet you” He held out his hand for cas to shake.

“The pleasure is mine.”

Sam grinned “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Sam!” Dean protested.

“Oh really?” Cas raised an eyebrow at dean.

“Nope, nothing he doesn’t know anything. God I already regret introducing you guys.” dean grumbled taking his seat.

“Yeah dean seems to be very taken with you.” sam provoked while ignoring deans insults.

“Is this true dean?” Cas teased. “are you _very_ taken with me?” He gently elbowed deans side.

“I hate you both so much.” Dean half growled. Cas grinned as he saw deans cheeks going red.

“Love you too big brother.” Sam flashed his teeth at dean.

After a while of talking about school and eating pasta Cas worked up the nerve to ask them a question that he’d been wondering about since he got here.

“If you don’t mind me asking, where are your parents?”

“Uh..” dean put down his fork and glanced over at little sammy. “He works a lot. He’s usually on business trips. Being a single parent is hard for him.. I think he’s just trying to do his best. Sammy and I are basically on our own most of the time. It’s great..” He stared off into space. “..just great.”

“What about your mother?”

Neither Sam nor Dean answered. Sam looked down while Dean darted his eyes around the room.

“Oh, i’m sorry i didn’t mean to pry..” Cas began.

“She uh, she died when we were little.” Dean answered somewhat harshly. Dean and picked up his plate and started to walk to the kitchen.

Cas watched him go. “I’m sorry about your mother.”

“Don’t sweat it. It’s okay.” He said without looking at him.

“I can relate. My mother also passed away when I was young.” Cas explained.

“Do you remember her at all?” sam asked.

“um, no.. She uh, died in childbirth. I’m the youngest of four.” Cas rubbed at the palm of his hand with his thumb and looked down.

“Oh. I’m so sorry cas..” Dean began.

Cas shrugged. “its okay.” He got up and cleared his plate joining Dean in the kitchen.

“Looks like us three have more in common than we thought.” Sam half laughed.

“Yeah looks like it.” dean was leaning against the cabinets watching cas.

Cas cleared his throat and said something that had just come to mind. “Dean did you skip school today?”

Dean was grateful for the change of subject. “Uh, yeah i did. I was at the hospital with you this morning and then I was already late so i was just like what’s the point. Plus i wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“You shouldn’t skip school dean. And I told you that I would have been adequate on my own you-”

“oh hush your complaining. I wasn’t about to let you go home alone. And i’m going to keep an eye on you until you get cleared by the doctor. You’re welcome to stay here with me and sam, until then, you have your appointment on Friday morning so ill take you there if you want and then i’ll let you get on with your life. Deal?”

Cas sighed. “Dean..”

“Cas seriously what if you fall again like you did in the hospital this morning? What if you hit your head and pass out and, i don't know, die or something? I would feel totally responsible for it and i would never forgive myself.”

Cas paused. “Fine. On one condition.”

“Name it.”

“You go to school.”

Dean groaned. “Fine.”

“its a deal. Until friday?”

“Until friday.”

 

~


	2. Chapter 2

**Thursday September 25th 7:15am**

Rain beat down on the windshield. Cas was riding shotgun with Sammy in the back. Sam was rambling on about something that happened at school but Dean wasn’t listening, he was preoccupied with thinking back to the night before. Last night, after dinner dean had said that cas could have the bed and he would take the small couch that was pushed up against the wall in Deans room. At first Cas had argued, “Dean, this is your house, I would be perfectly fine on the couch.” But there was no point. Cas was in the midst of learning that Dean was really stubborn.

“Fine. You can have the couch Cas.” Dean had said.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Dean flashed his million dollar smile for a split second but then suddenly got serious. “over my dead body.” He threw a pillow at Cas’s chest. The momentum of the pillow made Cas take a step backward which then in return made him trip and fall onto Deans bed.

“Thats better.” Dean beamed and gathered some clothes and a towel. He pointed at Cas. “Don’t you dare try and take that couch from me, understand? You may have a concussion but I will still beat you up Castiel Novak.” Cas nodded and Dean made his way to the bathroom. When he got back, Cas was sound asleep in Deans bed.

Dean laid on the couch tossing and turning for a good part of the night. This whole situation was weird and extremely awkward. Castiel was just… So… he couldn’t put his finger on it but there was something about him that made Deans insides flutter. The thought of him being there in his room, less then ten feet away from him was abnormally exhilarating. He tried desperately to fall asleep but all he could think about was Cas. He kept looking over into the dark in the direction of where his bed was, where Cas was. Everything about him was unique. His dark hair, his gorgeous blue eyes. His rosy lips..

“Dean”

Dean was snapped back into reality.

“What?”

“Take the next left and then my apartment is on the right.” Cas was giving him directions to his house. They were going to pick up some clothes for Cas and then drop him back off at their house before school started.

They slowed to a stop in front of a really sketchy, run down, looking apartment complex.

“I’ll be right back” Cas pulled up his hood while pushing open the door. He dashed out into the rain.

Dean watched as he opened the first door on the right of the apartment building.

“Dean, this is a really bad part of town.” Sam asked from the backseat. “What is cas doing living here?”

“I was wondering the same thing myself..” Dean followed little water droplets chase each other down the window.

five minutes passed.

Sam sighed.

Ten minutes.

“God what’s taking so long.” Sam complained.

“He’s probably just getting his stuff together.”

20 minutes.

“do you think hes okay? Maybe he fell and hit his head or something. We’re gonna be late to school...”

“Thats it. I’m going in to check this out. Sam stay in the car.” Dean pushed open the door and ran over to Cas’s apartment.

He pushed open the door. “Cas? You in here?”

no answer.

Cas’s apartment was small. _Really_ small. It was only one room with a single door leading off to the left. Dean was standing in the middle of what seemed to be a living room-kitchen-art studio. A couch and a small coffee table stood to the left but then it also had a stove, sink, microwave, and small fridge shoved into the right corner. Art supplies was scattered everywhere, paintbrushes covered the sink, cans of paint were piled high along the couch. Newspapers lined the floor, and extensive quantities of canvases were pushed up against the blank walls.

Dean stepped over the paint cans and made his way over to the door. “Cas? You in there?” the door squeaked as he pushed it open.

The first thing he noticed was cas kneeling on the ground. “Cas what are you doing?” he stepped closer. “Were gonna be late, come-” Thats when dean noticed the glass and all the torn up paintings and broken paint brushes that littered the floor.

“Cas… What happened?”

Cas sighed and stood up, brushed off his pants and turned his back away from dean. He started shoving clothes violently into a bag.

“Cas.” dean said firmly.

“It’s nothing dean. It happens all the time.”

“What did someone break into your apartment?” Dean pointed to a broken in window above where cas was kneeling.

Cas was silent.

Something occurred to him. “Cas.. Where are your parents?”

No answer.

“Why would someone break in? Did they steal anything? Why did they rip up your paintings?”

No answer.

Dean started getting frustrated. “Cas! I’m talking to you!” Dean grabbed Cas’s shoulder and spun him around so that they were face to face.

“Because Dean!” Cas exclaimed irritated through teary eyes. He stumbled back and away from dean until his back was against the wall. “No one likes being neighbors with the gay faggot art student!”

Rain battered down on the window.

Dean stood still with his arms by his side.

Green eyes staring sadly into blue ones.

“C-cas i-”

“When I was sixteen, my older brother Michael went to college leaving me alone with my father.” he interrupted. “With him gone, there was nothing stopping him from kicking me out of the house. Being a very religious man, he said ‘having a gay son in the house is like opening your house up for satan himself! You’re a failure Castiel, a monster.’” he spat the last part, breaking their eye contact and looking out at the dark, morning rain.

Dean wasn’t sure if he should speak, at this point Cas’s usually bright eyes had grown dark and glossed with tears.

“Thats why you’re living here? By yourself” Dean asked in no more than a whisper.

“This was the only living situation I could afford.” his voice cracked slightly. “After my father kicked me out i didn't know what to do. I was all alone. I called Michael, he wasn’t surprised. He helped me get emancipated and then bought me this place.” Cas let his arms fall to his sides. “I was all ready to get a job but Michael said that he would send me money so that i could focus on my schoolwork.” Cas shrugged. “I got a job anyway. I needed money for art supplies.”

Dean shifted uncomfortably. “You shouldn't have to live like this.”

Cas laughed bitterly. “Where am i supposed to go dean?”

Dean shaped his lips into different letters trying to find words to say. It seemed to him that cas was actually begging him for an answer. Where was cas supposed to go? Heat whelmed inside him and his fists clenched. “This isn’t right.”

“What isn’t right? The fact that I’m gay? Dean i don’t need you to tell me what you think is morally righ-”

“What no stop. Not that. Thats cool, I uh, I can relate i guess. I - he - i mean, um, I am also uh” Dean fumbled over his words and talked with his hands.

“Don’t strain yourself.” Cas said, and even though his eyes were pink and puffy, a smile played at his lips.

Dean lowered his gaze to the ground as he felt heat rush over his cheeks and ears. “What i meant was, this isn’t right that you should have to live like this.”

“Well.. that’s life I guess.”

“Not a very good one.”

“its all ive got.”

Deans heart dropped. “You know you’re allowed to stay with me for as long as you want.”

Cas took a deep breath trying to compose himself. “Thats not necessary. I’ve been fine on my own for almost two years now. And plus, this is only temporary until the end of the school year. Michael has saved up some money and along with the money that i’m making, i am hoping it will be enough to go to college.”

“Yeah.. but still..”

“dean.. you uh.. better get to school.” Cas mumbled.

 

~

 

** Thursday September 25th 10:15am **

Sitting in class was hard enough for dean without having other things on his mind.

 _“Dean Winchester is a popular student among his classmates but he has major trouble concentrating on the task at hand. Would recommend getting a private tutor”_  His history teacher, Mr. Shurley had written on his report card.

He clicked his pen repeatedly.

Mr. Shurley was talking about some kind of war or civilization or something but Dean wasn’t really listening.

_Nothing dean. it happens all the time._

click.

Thoughts of Castiel raced through deans head. Opening the door to a dark, empty apartment and making himself a cheap dinner of cup-o-noodles or pb&j sandwiches every night after hours of school and hours of work. Castiel going to bed by himself with no one there to talk to or help him with his projects or tell him that everything is going to be okay. No one to tell him to keep going, no one for him to cry into.

click. click.

images of Cas’s eyes losing their bright color and turning dark as they dropped to the dull gray floor.

click click.

smashed glass scattered among scraps of paper.

click.

Cas

click.

Cas.

click.

Cas..

click.

_Where am i supposed to go dean?_

click.

click.

click.

“MR. WINCHESTER!”

Deans head shot up. The entire class was twisted in their chairs staring at him.

“Dean I have been trying to get your attention for the past 5 minutes! Why aren’t you taking notes? And for gods sake stop with the pen clicking.” He turned back to the chalkboard.

Giggles passed through the classroom.

“Oh, uh... sorry.” Heat raced across his cheeks.

“I would hope so! Next time I have to disrupt my teaching for you will be a detention Mr. Winchester.”

Dean nodded and started pretending to take notes as Mr. Shurley turned back to the board.

Dean quietly opened his notebook up to a fresh sheet of paper and scribbled, _‘places you could go’_ at the top.

 

~

 

**Thursday September 25th 4:28pm**

“Dean?” Cas asked.

“Yeah?”

“Why do you make all these paper cranes?”

They were lying on the floor of deans room listening to records on low. Cas was looking up at the ceiling studying the different birds while dean was on his stomach slumped over a textbook.

Dean half laughed, half snorted “Oh Castiel, I would have to be a _lot_ more drunk to answer that question.”

Cas gave him a curious, almost sad look.

Dean went back to studying. Well, not really studying, just staring at the page rereading the same sentence over and over again because he couldn't concentrate.

He finally closed his textbook “Can I ask _you_ a question Cas?” Dean rolled over onto his back next to him.

“I see no reason why you can’t”

He paused to think. “What do you wanna do when you grow up?” He mumbled over the steady hum of the music.

“I want to paint.” Cas kept his eyes locked on the folded birds. “Or draw or sketch or anything really. I just want to create things.”

Dean didn’t say anything for a moment so cas being embarrassed, quickly added “I don’t know, it’s stupid. And plus that field is really hard and-”

“Cas don’t sell yourself short like that. You’re a really talented artist. I’ve seen some of your stuff and i’m not bullshiting you when i say that it’s good. If you wanna do it i say go for it.”

Cas glanced over at dean and met his eyes. “Thank you dean.”

Dean smiled softly.

“What about you? What do you want to be when you graduate?”

“I dunno.” Dean sighed “I’m probably going to have to stay at home for a while until Sammy graduates. I don’t want him to go through high school without someone there for him and I’m all he’s got. Its not like my dad would take care of him.”

“Thats really responsible of you dean. I really admire you for loving your brother that much.”

Dean nodded. “You know, your brother Michael isn’t so different. He didn’t abandon you like you father did, and he is trying to help as much as he can, right?” Deans eyes found their way over to cas, he watched the way his jaw moved as he talked, the way his eyelashes fluttered as he blinked, the way his lips moved...

“Yeah i guess so, but sometimes he just feels so… distant.” Cas frowned and knit his eyebrows together.

“Do you guys talk much?” Dean pushed himself up onto his side so that he could talk to cas directly.

“No, not frequently. Sometimes he calls or texts to say he put money in my account or to make sure that I am still going to school but not as much as I wish we were.” Dean could see the hurt on Cas’s face.

“You should tell him that. Its obvious that he cares about you, I’m sure he’ll take the time to talk to you.” In that moment dean fought the urge to take cas’s hand or brush back the hair from his forehead, just some type of small, physical connection to try and comfort cas.

Cas shook his head. “I don’t know. Things are a lot different between us now. We used to be very close to one another. But when i came out to them, I don’t know. Things changed…” he trailed off and let the music fill the silence.

“Maybe he’ll surprise you.” dean mumbled after a minute, he lowered himself back onto his back.

“I hope so.”

They laid there and listened to the scratching of the record player for a solid 5 minutes before either of them spoke again.

“You know,” Dean began. “I know what you mean about how things were different after you uh, told them about, you know.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, I mean, vaguely remember telling my dad that I thought boys were cute or whatever when I was back in elementary school. I didn’t think much of it because i didn’t really know what I meant. My dad just said,-” dean started talking in a deep low voice trying to imitate his father “‘You’re too young to know what you like dean.’” cas let out a little giggle at deans voice.

“And i stopped talking about it for a while.” dean continued. “When I got into highschool, i started talking to this guy,” dean cleared his throat, “and he asked me on a date. I remember going home that day and saying to my dad, something like ‘dad, i have a date this weekend’ and he just mumbled a ‘whats her name’ without looking up from his newspaper. and so i went on and said ‘his name is-’” dean suddenly stopped talking and stared cas for a split second before darting his eyes around the room. “Um, I uh said something like ‘with a guy’ and my dad just grunted or something. And so i continued with a ‘Dad, i like guys.’ and he just mumbled an ‘mmhmm’”

Cas tilted his head at dean.

“After that I just never really brought it up again and he didn’t ask about it. But he would always look at me a little different.” dean shook his head, keeping his eyes on the ceiling.

The scratching of the record drew on throughout the silence. Cas felt like he should say something but he wasn't sure what that was supposed to be.

“What happened to the guy you dated?” Cas asked.

Dean raised an eyebrow. “why? you jealous?” he teased.

“I like the term, curious.”

“It uh, that didn’t work out.”

“Im sorry about that dean.”

“me too.”

Cas turned his head to find Dean staring right into his eyes.

 _six inches apart_. Cas estimated.

Their faces were approximately six inches apart.

Close enough to see the freckles dusted across his skin. Close enough to see the slight pink tint around dean’s eyes suggesting lack of sleep. Close enough that if cas wanted to, he could lean in and kiss dean right then and there.

Dean broke eye contact and looked back up at the ceiling. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Did you have a boyfriend or anything?” dean asked.

“You say ‘did’ as if you’re sure i don’t have one now. Why is that?” Cas glanced over at dean.

“Well if you do have a boyfriend,” dean began. “Then he’s a really shitty one.” He said very matter-of-factly.

“Oh? Why’s that?” Cas asked almost defensively.

“Well for starters, you’re in another guys bedroom letting me take care of you rather than your boyfriend taking care of you. Number Two, you’re boyfriend didn’t come visit you in the hospital or check up on you at all. Number C, when i was at your apartment, there was only one pillow on your bed, and one towel in the bathroom, which means that either you’re single, or you don’t sleep with your boyfriend, either way i respect that. And finally I can tell that you’re the kind of person who, if having a boyfriend, would mention it right off the bat.”

Cas laughed “Touché, Creepy, but accurate.” Cas thought for a second. “Wait… What?”

“What?” Dean’s lips widened into a gorgeous smile.

“Why do you think I would say that I am in a relationship right away?”

“Because” Dean rolled over onto his side, propping his head up with his hand. “you seem like the kind of person who would be faithful to your partner. Who wouldn’t lead anyone on, like you would want them to know not to hit on you or anything. Loyal.”

Cas could feel heat rush across his face. “Thank you dean.”

Deans smile grew and his eyes lit up when he saw cas’s blushed cheeks.

They let the deep tone of the music fill the short silence. Cas could feel dean laying there next to him. He could feel the uncomfortable inability to reposition himself in fear that it would be inconvenient to him. That unsure feeling always seems to come with being with a new person. You don’t know how to react to their jokes, you aren’t sure what to talk about and what not to talk about. It’s always the hardest part about meeting someone new. But it’s also one of the fun parts. Every person is different. They have different stories to tell and different attitudes towards different subjects, they have different ways of making mac and cheese or different methods to cure a hangover, different hobbies or obsessions. Every new person is like a fresh start over. Castiel always marveled this.

“Cas?” Dean asked without taking his eyes off the ceiling.

“Yeah?”

“Not to pry or anything but why do you have those night terror things?” His voice cracked.

Cas stifled a laugh. “Oh dean, I would have to be a _lot_ more drunk to answer that question.”

~


	3. Chapter 3

**Friday, September 26th 8:39am**

Cas took a deep breath and pushed open the passenger door of the impala. Dean had already vanished in the crowd of students as he tried to catch up with a group of his friends who were walking toward the entrance. But Cas was still sulking in the car. He really wished the doctor had said that Castiel needed more time off of school so that he could lay in deans bed and watch reruns of Star Trek and read through Deans comic book collection, but no, he said that he was “Clear for school!” as if it was good news. He eventually worked up the motivation to step out onto the hot cracked pavement, It was way to warm to almost be October.

As he made his way through mass of students he began to wonder what happens next. He had agreed with Dean that he would stay at his house until today and then he would go back to his cramped cluttered apartment. He guessed this was it then, their three day friendship - is that the right word? Cas thought that maybe ‘acquaintance’ fit better because they weren’t really close friends. - was over. His stomach churned and his muscles stiffened as he got closer to the ugly green doors of Green Hill High School. He dreaded the infernal place. Everyone was always too caught up in gossip and who was fucking who to enjoy anything in this godforsaken world. They always gave him weird side looks in the hallways, eyeing his dyed hair and paint stained jeans. He would suddenly feel inadequate and look away trying not to make eye contact, afraid that they might try to start a conversation with him.

Dean was right inside the doors and Cas suspected that he was waiting for one of his friends, but as he watched him scan the people walking through the doors and Deans eyes fell on Cas he smiled and started walking over. “Cas! There you are. I thought you were following me before and i turned around and you weren’t there.”

“Oh, I uh sorry I-” Cas began, but he didn’t get to finish his stuttering because someone was yelling for dean across the hallway.

“Dean!” Dean whipped around, turning his back on Cas creating a barrier between Cas and the girl. Dean beamed when he saw a girl in a cheer outfit walk over to him with a confident, almost arrogant bounce in her step. She ignored Cas completely.

“Jo! How’s my favorite co-captain doing?” Dean swung an arm around her shoulders and gave her a tight hug. She squealed. 

“I’m fantastic except... you haven’t been at cheer practice in like forever Dean! Like two whole days! What gives? You’re a captain Dean! You can’t just skip practice!” She spoke with a happy, sweet tone suggesting it didn’t bother her that much but Cas could tell a slight passive aggressiveness to what she was saying.

“Sorry, I was…” a smile played at the ends of Deans lips. “...busy.” Dean swivelled his hips to face Cas and gave him a quick wink before turning back to Jo. Sudden heat raced across Cas’s cheeks. “It won’t happen again. Promise.”

Jo looked around Dean to Cas with a very judgemental almost jealous look on her face. “It better not.”

She crossed her arms and nodded in Cas’s direction. “Who’s the guy?”

Cas had stood their throughout their whole conversation and now he wished he had just gone to class or something.

Dean stepped to the side so that Jo was facing Cas directly. “This is uh, Jo Castiel, Castiel Jo.”

“Pleasure.” She said. But something told Cas was she that she was not actually pleased to meet him.

“Hello.” Cas muttered weakly.

She made a dramatic display to turn back to Dean. “So you are coming to practice tonight then?”

“Uh, yeah i guess so.”

“Hey, Dean, I’m going to go to class. I’ll see ya later.” Cas turned to leave but before he could even get a couple steps away, Dean had grabbed his arm. “Cas, wait!” Cas turned and waited for Dean to say whatever he had to say but Dean looked like he honestly didn’t have anything important to say. Dean realized this as he stood there with his mouth open, his eyes held Cas’s for a minute but then started shyly darting around the hallway. “Do you, uh, still want a ride home this afternoon?” good save dean.

“What about your practice?” Cas asked confused.

“Nah I can blow it off.” Dean let his hand move slowly down the length of Cas’s arm, passing over the thin fabric of his frayed sweater, until he settled it with his fingers wrapped loosely around Cas’s wrist.

Cas struggled to get words out. He glanced down at their hands.

_oh my god were basically holding hands. wow. No wait, Cas he’s talking to you, say something._

“No dean that’s okay I don’t want you to have to do that.” And he really meant it. He didn’t want Dean to have to forfeit something he loved just to drive him home.

“Seriously it’s no problem, if you’re worried about Jo then-”

“No, thats not it,” He could tell that Dean wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “uh okay, how about this, you go to practice, and I’ll work on my art submission and then you can drive me home afterward? Plus, I did miss a couple of days, I’m probably really far behind in a lot of classes. I could work on that stuff.”

Dean seemed pleased. “Perfect. I’ll see you after school then?” Jo yelled for Dean to hurry up with a slight annoyance in her voice. Dean didn’t even turn to look at her, he just lifted his index finger in her direction signaling to give him a minute.

Cas turned from Dean and took a brief hurried look at Jo, she had her hands on her hips and her eyebrows knit furiously together. Cas had to stifle a smile.

“Yeah sure but Dean-”

The bell rang cuing that they were late for class.

“Shit Cas I gotta go, I’ll see you after school though.” And before he could say anything else, Dean was already halfway down the hallway.

~

Most of the day was a blur. It felt like his body was operating without him being in control. Like he was a ghost who was just watching his body on autopilot. He took tests, he took notes, but he didn’t register any of it. His mind was in a hundred other places. Mainly he was just longing to be back in Deans bed surrounded by the scent of burning wood and lavender. He missed looking up at the mismatched cluster of paper birds. Cas wondered if he would ever get to sleep in that bed again. Probably not. He watched as he got up and slung his backpack over his shoulder when the bell rang. He didn’t argue when his feet brought him to the cafeteria and sat him down at his normal spot in the corner with Meg. He was only snapped back into reality when Meg poured some of her water over the top of Castiel’s head.

“Shit Meg!” He jumped up. “What was that for?!” Castiel began ruffling his black and blue hair trying to dry it.

“You were like, in some type of trance. You weren’t answering me so I did the only logical thing.” She said it in such a unexcited casual way as if she didn’t care, as if she was bored. It made him even madder.

Castiel pulled the wet sweater over his head to reveal his gray, worn, Leonardo Da Vinci Vitruvian Man tshirt - Leonardo was not only one of Cas’s favorite Renaissance artists, but also his favorite ninja turtle.- He stuffed his sweater into his backpack and sat back down.

“Don’t do that again.” he said sternly.

“Yeah whatever. Anyway, where have you been? You didn’t answer any of my texts.”

“I wasn’t at school.” He also wasn’t sure if he wanted to share the story of Dean with anyone yet.

“Obviously.”

“I got a concussion. The doctor said I couldn’t come to school.” He didn’t meet her gaze.

“uh huh.” She waited for him to elaborate and when he didn’t, she sighed. “On monday I was your only friend. You didn’t so much as LOOK at other people. And now all of a sudden I see you with Winchester? How did that happen.” Meg wasn’t jealous. She’s never jealous. She’s just mindful of her assets. Technically Meg is Castiel’s best friend. And shes also the only one who knows that Castiel was gay, it’s not like she would tell anyone so he saw no point in hiding it.

Castiel mumbled something quietly under his breath. “Speak up Novak." she said "I don’t understand mumbles.”

“Dean Winchester hit me with his car.”

After a few seconds of stunned silence, Meg burst out laughing. “What?!” she managed between gasps for air. “how did it happen? Like,” she lowered her voice, trying to imitate Dean ‘Oh dude sorry I hit you with my car, come back to my place and lets have sex.’” She threw her head back and continued in her loud laughter. A couple peoples heads turned to look. Castiel put the heel of his hands on his eyes took a deep breath. “Yes. I MEAN NO. No it didn’t happen like that.” Castiel just wanted to go home. He had such a bad headache. He wondered if he complained to the doctor, the doctor would get Castiel out of school. He decided against it and instead picked up his bag and headed for the exit.

“Awe don’t be like that!” She called after him. “I’m only teasing! Come back.” Castiel sighed and turned back around.

“No but really. Is he good?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Good at what?” Castiel tilted his head.

She snickered. “Does he get you up?” she rephrased.

Castiel seemed even more confused at this. “I don’t-”

“For christs sake, SEX. Is he good in bed? He sure looks like he would be.” she licked her lips at the thought.

His eyes widened. “No! We haven’t, we didn’t, no it’s not like that. He’s not, I mean-” Castiel groaned in frustration. Why is meg always like this. "Why would you think that?"

“You didn’t? That’s adorable in a nerdy geeky virgin kinda way. I dunno, it  just seemed like an extensive amount of eye fucking in the hallway to me.”

He was about to tell meg to shut the fuck up but the bell saved him. He walked as fast as he could out of the cafeteria and headed to english class.

 

When he walked through the door he immediately spotted dean in a group of three of his friends, Anna, Gabriel, and Charlie. The teacher wasn’t here yet so everyone was scattered throughout the classroom talking. He tried and failed not to make eye contact. Dean spoke loudly at him from across the classroom. “Cas! Since when have you been in this class?”

Cas’s stomach tied itself in knots and he quickly took his seat in the back of the classroom. When Cas didn’t answer dean, he came over and put a hand on either side of Cas’s desk, towering over him. “Cas?”

Cas looked up at the pair of green eyes staring down at him but then quickly looked down at his desk. “I’ve been in this class all year dean.”

Dean noticed the lack of eye contact and crouched down to that he was looking up at Cas. “Really? Why have I never seen you before? I’m a hundred percent positive that I would have remembered someone like you.”

Cas wasn’t sure if dean was telling the truth. After all, he wasn’t even sure if he trusted him yet. “I have a way of making myself go unseen when I want to.” Cas replied. Which was in a way, true.

The teacher walked in and Dean nodded and went back to his seat across the classroom. The fact that Cas was in his class was actually a really big surprise. He had genuinely never noticed him before. But he guessed thats the thing about Cas, he doesn’t force your attention like one of the popular, fake, made up girls would who show their belly rings, pop their hips from side to side, and strut in as if they’re on a runway instead of walking down a public school hallway. Cas is different. The whole big-sweatshirts-blue-hair-pale-skin-always-has-headphones-in-never-makes-any-noise thing makes most people overlook him, but then when you actually get to connect with those deep blue eyes and hear that thick, husky voice whispering to you through the dark asking if you’re still awake, learning that he likes Pink Floyd as much as you do, hearing his story, thats when you realize how utterly beautiful he is, not just for looks, but for soul. For heart. But who was dean kidding, Castiel was really fucking attractive too. Thats just a plus though.

Thats why when Dean looked up from his textbook and saw Cas’s piercing blue fixed on him, he suddenly wondered if Cas was reading his mind. He could feel his ears going red and looked back down. After a couple minutes of staring at his page, he glimpsed back up to see that Cas still had his eyes on him. The bell rang as Cas smiled and winked at dean and got up. Dean was still sitting at his desk, too stunned to move. Cas was swept out the door with the other students and dean quickly remembered how to use his legs and grabbed his stuff and ran out the door. He looked around the hallway for Cas but he was already gone.

 

~

After school was over Cas headed straight for the art room. His teacher, Mr. Williams greeted him with a big hello and asked him why he wasn’t in class this week, Cas just said he was sick and went over to his favorite spot in the corner next the window, it gave him a natural light to work with. He set out a fresh canvas on his easel and stared at it for a couple minutes before going over and grabbing his sketchbook. He sketched out some designs but that just made him frustrated. He looked through some books trying to get inspired but that didn’t help at all. Mr. Williams clearly realized that Cas was having some trouble so sat down across from him at the table. “Are you having trouble?” He asked. Cas frowned down at his paper. “I can’t figure out what to do. I’ve never had this problem before.”

“There are a couple things I suggest for when you have artists block.” He had a warm, welcoming heavy set face. He was the kind of guy who always had really good advice. He took Cas’s pencil from him and pointed it in his direction. “First, get a change of scenery, get outside, go look at nature, get inspired. Try drawing something thats positive in your life at the moment. Draw something that inspires you, something that you’ve been thinking about. Change materials. You do a lot of oil paints. Maybe get some clay out and try sculpting, or do a colored pencil drawing.” Cas thought about the clay idea but he never really had any luck with clay. His hands would never let him do what he wanted him to do. “Forget about the college submission. Just take a piece of paper and a pencil and just go with whatever your hands start doing.” He handed his pencil back to Cas and slid a fresh piece of paper toward cas.

He started sketching. He let his hands guide his movements. Not sure where this was going.

 

At around six thirty that evening, Cas heard Dean walk into the art studio. He looked up from his sketch and smiled as he waved him over. He looked down at his drawing. His eyes widened. “holy shit.” he whispered. He quickly covered up the perfectly symmetrical portrait of dean.

_HOW THE FUck did I draw dean for two hours and was not even aware I was doing it? Holy shit okay just don’t let dean see it. That would be really really awkward he would probably think i’m obsessive or something. Okay okay calm down he’s walking over._

“Hiya Cas.” Dean ran his fingers through his dirty blonde hair and leaned against the sinks next to Cas’s table. “How’s the art world.”

“Oh its just fantastic. Look how much I got done!” Cas sarcastically motioned to the blank canvas.

“Wow. I’m astonished. Thats great work for a whole two hours.” Dean grinned and readjusted his bag on his shoulder.

Dean saw Cas weakly smile. “Is everything alright?”

Cas sighed and leaned back in his chair. “This had never happened to me. At least not like this. I mean, I’ve had it for a day or two but I can’t figure out what to do for this stupid project. I’ve done so many different things and none of it is working.” He sighed heavily and slumped his shoulders. They were silent for a minute. “When I was a kid, back with I lived with my dad, I couldn't have been more than eight or nine, but I used to climb out of my window at night and sit on the ledge." He was talking very slowly, letting each word ring out over his deep, calming voice. "We lived out in the country so the sky was always clear. I remember the crisp night air, how the streetlights fell through the trees casting these iridescent shadows, and I would look up at the stars and watch as they seemed to change color when you look at them from different angles… I would take books out from the library on constellations and map out which ones I was seeing...” Cas trailed off clearly lost in thought. “That’s always what I think of when i’m stuck.” He glanced up at dean to see his reaction and shifted in his chair. “But, lately.. I’m having trouble remembering how to piece the stars together… how the constellations looked… what color the sunsets were.”

Dean saw how frustrated he was, how sad his eyes were. Dean bit his lip and went over to the window. He looked up at the almost dark sky.

“Come here, I wanna show you something.” Dean said quietly as he motioned toward the door.

Cas was too lost in thought to argue so he gathered up his things, making sure he kept the portrait of dean hidden, and fell in step next to dean.

 

~


	4. Chapter 4

** Friday, September 26th 7:48pm **

Cas had expected dean to drop him off at his apartment. That was their agreement, only till friday. He was in the impala riding shotgun digging through his paint stained backpack looking for some aspirin for his headache. “Where are we going?” He asked before taking a sip from his water bottle and downing the pain meds.

Dean shrugged in response and craned his neck over the steering wheel trying to look up at the darkening sky. “I wanna try and see something.”

Cas went along with whatever dean was doing. Normally Cas would want to be in bed with his sketchbook or laptop at this time, but something about having Dean here comforted him in a way that was much better than a blanket.

The hum of tires on asphalt lulled Cas into a trance like state. Dean had one hand on the wheel and the other draped across the backrest of the front seat, not necessarily around Cas’s shoulders but more or less in that general area. Cas was sitting closer to Dean than what deemed necessary and whenever they hit a pothole or went around a bend, their knees would bump into one another.

That day, for dean, had been an interesting sequence of events. After seeing Cas in the hallway, he headed off to math, which he had with Jo. She had questioned him about his ‘new friend’, asking who he was and that he looked like a loser. Dean told her the truth. “He’s a friend.” He began. “And he’s pretty cool actually.” Later that day, -after an eventful english class with Castiel, in which whenever Dean glanced up at Cas, Cas was always right there looking back which made Dean’s cheeks flush - Uriel, first string linebacker, Co-captain of the team with Gabriel, waved dean over as he walked into chemistry class. Now, most people know not to mess with Dean-Don’t-Let-The-Cheer-uniform-Fool-You-He-Will-Punch-You-In-The-Face-If-You-Cross-Him-Winchester, but Uriel was big. Big and muscular and almost three times the size of Dean.

“Dean.” He said in a grating tone.

“Hey Uriel. What’s up?” He walked over with the usual winchester confidence that he carries with him, expecting a light conversation about the game or practice or a party of some sort.

“So Jo told me.” He looked down at dean through a stone cold face.

“uh, told you what?” Dean asked, thoroughly confused.

“She told me that you may be having,” he cleared his throat. “impure relations with another _man_.” 

“What the hell, no, I don’t know what Jo told you but that’s wrong. Plus, even if I was, that wouldn’t be any of your business.” Dean added.

“On the contrary, it is my business. I take pride in having my field free of that type of, um,” He paused. “practice. Plus, I can’t have you on the side lines checking out all the football players. It would be distracting for them.” He continued.

Dean’s gut set in stone. He hadn’t been talked to like this in years. Not since he moved here from Kansas. This was supposed to be a fresh start over. Get a girlfriend, be captain of the cheer squad, take care of sammy. This wasn’t supposed to happen again.

Before he could retaliate to what Uriel had said, the bell rang and the teacher told everyone to take their seats. As Dean turned to leave, Uriel slammed the books out of deans hands, causing them to fall to the floor with a loud bang. Everyone turned to laugh. The teacher didn’t do anything.

“Oops.” Uriel said with a raw smile and a devilish gaze.

Dean quickly picked up his books and gave Uriel a hateful glare as made his way over to his seat, ignoring the snickers from the other kids.

~

After class he was infuriated. He stalked down the hallway looking for Jo. He needed to know exactly what she had said and to whom.

He found her leaned up against his own locker.

“Jo! What the FUCK did you do?” He slammed his fist against the locker right by her head. It was clear that she wasn’t expecting such a dramatic response because her eyes went wide, the sarcastic grin was swept clean off her face.

“It was just a joke.” she murmured quietly.

“Do you even know what a fucking joke is!?” He yelled. At this point a lot of people had turned to look, most of them kept walking with their heads down, some stood silently and whispered to each other. “That wasn’t funny. Fix this.” He stormed away.

He ended up ditching cheer practice because he didn’t want to face Jo or any of the other girls. Dean thought about just going to get Cas and going home but he didn’t want Cas to think that he was skipping practice for Cas. And he also wanted to give him time to do his art thingamajig.

Dean found himself in the library. He saw sammy there. What a nerd.

He caught Sam's eye and motioned him over. “Hey Sam, what are you doing here? I thought you were gonna take the bus.”

Sam was still a solid head shorter than dean, although he could tell that his growth spurt was coming, he dreaded the day when he was going to have to look up to talk to his baby brother.

“I have a research project to do with Brady, but why’re you here? I never thought that I would catch you dead in the library.” He said through soft hazel eyes.

Having Sam there comforted him, reminded him that no matter what happens that he’ll always show up to smooth it over. “I didn’t wanna go to practice but i’m giving Cas a couple hours to do his art thing.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his varsity jacket.

“Oh so you’re still babysitting him? I thought he got cleared this morning.” He said with a smug smile.

“shut up sam I’m just giving the guy a ride home.”

~

 

Dean pulled off onto a small dirt road canopied in reddening trees hanging overhead. Cas glanced over at dean. “You know, this is like those parts in horror films where the murderer takes the unknowing victim out into the middle of the woods to kill them so that no one can hear their screams.”

“Cas that is exactly what I’m doing.” Dean said with an extremely serious face. “I took you out here to murder you. I’m sorry you had to find out this way.” He tried to keep a straight face but a smile was pulling at the edge of his lips.

“I’m offended. You can’t just murder a guy like this. You at least have to buy me a drink first!” Cas said.

By this time, Dean had pulled out of the small patch of woods and into a large flat field and shifted the car into park. He turned to look at Cas. “Now that you mention it, you are totally right. I mean it’s only the polite thing to do. If I’m gonna murder you I should definitely buy you a drink first.”

“Good I’m glad you see it my way.”

The lights were on in the car, and they were reflecting off the windows so that you couldn’t see the now pitch black outside landscape. All you could see was the flares of lights coming from the car and if Cas looked past dean, he could see his reflection staring back at him on the drivers side window.

“But for now,” Dean said through a wide smile. “I’m hoping this will do.” Dean shut off the engine, cutting off the lights. Cas’s eyes adjusted as he looked out the window.  
“What am I supposed to be looking at? All i see is bla-” Cas cut off mid sentence as he stared up at the sky.

He fumbled with the door latch and stumbled out of the car, almost falling onto the soft grass as he kept his eyes fixed upward.

“Holy shit” He mumbled under his breath as he ran his hands through his black and blue hair.

The black void was decorated with millions of shimmering lights in the sky, celestial patterns crisscrossed through space and time creating a white, purple and black masterpiece.

“Dean, DEAN do you see how beautiful this is?!” The threw his arms up to the sky motioning to the stars.

Dean was standing by the drivers side door, his face illuminated by the purple-blue starlight as he leaned up against the car while he watched Cas’s reaction. “Yeah.” he said without taking his eyes off of Cas. “I do.”

Dean walked over to the front of the impala and slid up onto the hood. He looked at Cas and patted the spot next to him.

They laid there in silence for a while before Cas spoke.

“Do you realize how astounding this is?” Cas asked.

“Yeah its really amazing Cas.”

“No no dean just... the atoms that comprise _every single_ human on this earth, are traceable to the atoms that transformed elements into stars.” He talked slowly as if trying to find the right words to get the point across to dean. “ _Those stars_ , became unstable in their later years, collapsed, and then bursted,” he acted out what he was trying to portray with his hands, pretending to hold a little ball of light, and then he reenacted an explosion spreading his arms across the sky shifting deans attention to the star filled sky. “the stardust dispersed itselves to every corner of the universe. Carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, all the ingredients for life. Those gases evolve in themselves, condensing, collapsing, and eventually make themselves into planets, stars, _solar systems_ , creating literally everything imaginable.”

Cas quickly glanced over at dean to see if he was still listening. He was. Dean was watching him with his eyes pinned on Cas’s face that was ever so slightly being shined upon by light. Dean was absorbing every word Cas said. They were only inches apart.

“So, when someone looks up at the night sky, when they see that vast dark vacant black hole of impending emptiness, most would feel small, unethical, unimportant in this universe.” He moved his eyes off deans and back up to the stars. “I feel the complete opposite. I feel powerful, important. Just the thought that billions of years ago stars collapsed to create me…” He paused for a minute. “Yes we may be small in comparison, but we are apart of this universe. And more importantly, the universe is apart of us.”

“I’ve… never thought about it that way.” Dean said quietly. “That was beautiful.”

Cas blushed. Thankful that it was too dark for Dean to see his face redden.

“Thank you.”

He could feel dean laying next to him. Breath steady. In… Out…. In…. Out…. In…

“Cas?” Dean murmured.

Cas turned his head to face dean. He only now realized how very close they were to one another. He only had to reach forward maybe three inches for their lips to touch.

“I-” Cas began, but he never finished what he was going to say because dean had began to close his eyes, part his lips ever so slightly. Cas leaned forward-

_‘DUN DA DUN DUN DUN DA DUN DUN’_

Cas nearly fell off the hood of the car because he jumped so hard.

“Sorry! Fuck. sorry shit my phone.” Dean cursed under his breath as he stood up and answered the loud electric guitar strums coming from his phone.

“What?!” he half yelled at the person at the other end of the line. “Are you serious? Sam I was in the middle of something why can’t you just- oh... shit yeah sure okay. Yeah I’m on my way.”

Dean gave Cas a sympathetic look and then made his way back to the drivers side of the car. “Com’on Cas we gotta go pick up Sam, there was… a situation.”

“Is everything okay?” Cas asked as he slid into the passenger side.

“Its going to be.” He mumbled as he jetted the car into drive and spun around to the road.

Cas's mind was racing and he could feel the faint ghost of where Dean’s lips would have been on his, yet when he watched Dean drive, you wouldn’t be able to see the smallest indication of what had just happened in his face.


End file.
